We all know the stereotype. Men don’t talk about their feelings. But in clinic, I hear plenty, not always through words but through tight shoulders, sore backs, and bodies that feel worn down.The signs are everywhere: clenched jaws, unsettled guts, restless sleep. It’s easy to dismiss them as signs of age or poor posture, but often, they’re messages from a body that’s been carrying too much for too long.
This post explores how men’s bodies store stress and offer guidance on how to begin releasing the pressure.
What the Body’s Saying
These patterns recur repeatedly. They’re not just physical. They’re often how the body expresses stress, even when we don’t realise it.
Jaw and Neck Tension
- Clenching the jaw or grinding teeth can be a sign of holding things in, anger, frustration, or the effort to stay in control. It often happens without realising it, especially at night. This can lead to headaches, stiffness, and shoulder tension.
Tight Shoulders and Upper Back
- The classic “carrying the weight of the world” look. When stress builds, the shoulders rise and tighten. Over time, that creates pain and restricts movement. I often see this in men juggling work, family, and the pressure to keep everything together.
Lower Back Pain
- The lower back tends to absorb pressure when we push through exhaustion. It tightens, aches, or goes into spasm, not always because of an injury, but often because of feeling unsupported or overstretched in life.
Gut Discomfort
- The gut and nervous system are closely linked; the vagus nerve plays a significant role in digestion and calming the body, but when stress is high, things often go off track. Some men feel bloated, and others get reflux or wind.
Sleep Issues
- Tension carried throughout the day can prevent the body from switching off at night. Trouble falling asleep, waking early, or having a racing mind are all signs the nervous system is still on high alert.
What Helps
These aren’t quick fixes, but slight shifts can make a big difference:
- Create space to notice: I often ask, “What are you aware of right now?” It’s a simple question that opens the door to change. You don’t need to fix anything, just notice.
- Set better boundaries: Learning to say no or slow down is one of the most effective ways to reduce stress. Even tiny tweaks matter.
- Connect with others: It doesn’t have to be a deep chat. Walks, shared routines, or checking in with someone who gets you can ease the load more than you’d expect.
- Move with awareness: High-intensity workouts can help burn off stress, but they don’t always reach what lies underneath. Slower, intentional movements, such as Pilates, Tai Chi, or mobility work, help you identify areas where you’re tight or tired.
- Try hands-on support: Osteopathy, massage, or any gentle bodywork can highlight tension you didn’t know you were holding. Sometimes, just being touched kindly can change everything.
Final Thoughts
This isn’t about turning men into emotional oversharers. It’s about recognising that silence doesn’t equal strength and the body doesn’t lie. Listening helps you move better, sleep better, and feel more in control of your health.
All About Men: Is a 3-Part Series on Stress, Strength, and Joint Stiffness
How the Body Shows What Men Don’t Say
